


Essay Question

by storiesfortravellers



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Long-Suffering Coulson, Mentions of the X-Men, Morally Gray Fury, Team Training
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-21
Updated: 2014-03-21
Packaged: 2018-01-16 11:58:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1346632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As part of their team training exercises, the Avengers are each asked to write a plan for how the Avengers could capture Magneto's home base without hurting anyone.</p><p>Fury and Coulson are not amused by their answers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Essay Question

"So how'd their training exercises go?" Fury asked.

Coulson frowned. "They did very well on the practical."

"But?"

"The essay portion."

Fury sighed. "What were they asked again?"

"How they would plan an attack on Magneto's home base without any casualties," Coulson said.

"That's right. That's a good test question."

"As in we might be using their answers?"

"I have no comment on the matter. How did they do?"

"Well, Barton's response was one sentence long: 'Shoot them.'"

"Why am I not surprised?" Fury said.

"Steve wrote a reasonable plan, if a little short."

"Sounds good."

"Steve also included a note that in the future, he wishes to not be in the same room as Tony during the written portion. Apparently, Tony spent the entire hour throwing erasers against his shield in order to examine their bouncing trajectories."

"Of course he did. Does this mean Stark didn't do the test?"

"His answer was also one sentence long: 'I'll show up.'"

"Stark understands that the Iron Man suit is not going to hold up well against Magneto, doesn't he?" 

"Sometimes geniuses aren't very smart."

"Great."

Coulson continued, "Banner actually wrote the exact same thing as Stark."

"Yeah, well, Banner's _allowed_ to have 'Show Up' as his battle plan."

"Yes, sir."

"And Romanov?"

"Romanov completed a 27-page detailed plan, including numerous contingencies, for infiltrating their home base and taking them all into custody by herself."

"But this was supposed to be about how they would strategize as a team," Fury said.

"Yes, sir. Agent Romanov felt that she could do it more easily on her own. Though she noted that she would include Barton on the mission if he brought snacks. She specified 'not beef jerky.'"

Fury sighed. "And this plan of Romanov's? How is it?"

"Solid."

Fury was quiet for several seconds.

"Sir," Coulson said, "With the constant threat of alien invasion, it might be better to keep Romanov and Barton with the rest of the team to continue training."

"Fine. We'll table it for now. Maybe for their next test, we should ask how they'd take Professor Xavier's school."

"Sir, I think that Captain Rogers might take exception to that essay question. And that it might... agitate Dr. Banner."

"Okay, fine. I'll think of something else. Meantime, try to keep them all in line."

"Or something of the sort, sir."

"Right."

**Author's Note:**

> For comment-fic on lj, for this prompt on "Episode Titles" theme day:  
>  _  
> Avengers, any, Napoleon's Battle Plan (Sports Night 1x22)_
> 
> _(In case you aren't fortunate enough to be a Sports Night fan, let's go over this for a moment:_
> 
> _Casey: I have a plan.  
>  Dan: First you show up. Then you see what happens.  
> Casey: It worked for Napoleon.  
> Dan: No, it didn't work for Napoleon.)_


End file.
